Paleontologists have only dug up the world, the point is to bury it. — 11th Thesis on Feuerbach. — El Gorto, Eschatology for the Over-Endowed: Studies in Anthropological Materialism, vol. 28, November, 2016
Wait at least a month before buying anything to see if you really need it. If it is a big purchase, give it at least three months. If you still want it, give it a little more time. If you’re buying something just to get laid, then you should already own it. – El Gorto
In spite of her kleptomania, Goldilocks knew what was just right. — El Gorto, Finding Balance
Dear El Gorto,
I am a graduating philosophy student at Cornell College in Iowa and am a huge fan of yours. Your book, Finding Balance, really helped me with both my yoga poses and when things were not going so well with my boyfriend.
I am finishing my Honors Thesis on Nietzsche’s The Gay Science. My question to you, El Gorto, is simply, how do you apply Nietzsche’s philosophy in your day-to-day life?
Mount Vernon, Iowa
It’s hard to be sure of anything, but I do know Mount Vernon is in Virginia, and Cornell is in Ithaca, New York. So don’t try to fool me.
As far as applying Nietzsche to my everyday life, simple: That which doesn’t kill El Gorto, makes El Gorto stronger.
A Social Engagement Specialist gave me the ball and told me to run with it. I don’t understand that business jargon, but I did run. Well, I sort of jogged. Did I mention sciatica? Back at the couch, I sat. Then I pondered, and nearly made an inquiry: Are any disengagement specialists opportunities available, how much do they make, what are the hours and do they wear helmets? – El Gorto
Vegas is for gamblers, but when the oddsmakers stay home, I get nervous. – El Gorto, The Pandemic Diaries
Social distance doesn’t mean social dissonance. – El Gorto, The Pandemic Diaries
Without substance, you’re nothing. – El Gorto, Grin and Weep
Don’t let your mind make promises your body has no intention of keeping. — El Gorto
“Jon [Voight] was never the same after that famed chicken fight up in Laurel Canyon. Burt [Reynolds] nearly strangled him with his thighs of steel, but Jon— always the tough guy—never said anything. Burt just kept on squeezing. Once Jon did talk, we simply ignored him, a real tragedy.” — El Gorto, The Great American Chicken Fight