Sticks and Fingers

Ask El Gorto

Any Argument here? 

Absolute bullshit here!
They are called fish sticks. Period. And those bastards at Hormel damn well know it, by God!
Appropriating the good name of sticks for their adulterated canned product, while simultaneously and erroneously disparaging a superior ocean harvested, fresh frozen delicacy is an outrage.

Fish sticks yes.
Spam fingers, what?

— Culiacán Pie

Dear Mr. Pie,

No argument from the boys in men’s apparel.

El Gorto

From Politicus Interruptus

Ask El Gorto

Dear El Gorto,

My husband is driving me up the wall with all of his political angst and it’s ruining our love life. What should I do? 

– Politicus Interruptus

Dear Politicus,

Let me give it to you straight, I never get into politics simply because I can’t be sure who is listening? Do I want to upset my mechanic? Piss off my bookie? Offend my dentist? No thank you!

You know that punk down the street? Someday he might be a brownshirt or even a Gauleiter. So best to keep the trap shut. 

I’ll confess, I always believed an element of truth must be mixed into every lie, but today you can just say whatever. Odds are, they’ll believe you. 

I really feel for those press secretaries and so-called pundits. I see them struggling like Benny Hill to keep a straight face while they’re broadcasting. 

So just tell your husband to get a hobby, maybe something like a model railroad he can tinker with in the basement. Trust me, the passion will return. 

— El Gorto