When everything sucks, some know-it-all says it could be worse. And when all is good, some wiseacre says it could be better. I say…sorry, I lost my train of thought. – El Gorto, Commencement Speech, Kenyon College, 2020
Years of swimming have taught me one life lesson, be slippery. – El Gorto
A Social Engagement Specialist gave me the ball and told me to run with it. I don’t understand that business jargon, but I did run. Well, I sort of jogged. Did I mention sciatica? Back at the couch, I sat. Then I pondered, and nearly made an inquiry: Are any disengagement specialists opportunities available, how much do they make, what are the hours and do they wear helmets? – El Gorto
Any Argument here?
Absolute bullshit here!
They are called fish sticks. Period. And those bastards at Hormel damn well know it, by God!
Appropriating the good name of sticks for their adulterated canned product, while simultaneously and erroneously disparaging a superior ocean harvested, fresh frozen delicacy is an outrage.
Fish sticks yes.
Spam fingers, what?
— Culiacán Pie
Dear Mr. Pie,
No argument from the boys in men’s apparel.
— El Gorto
Don’t let your mind make promises your body has no intention of keeping. — El Gorto
Not every amateur deserves an hour.— El Gorto
Never tell a woman she has an amazing pancreas.— El Gorto