When your songs become elevator music, then we can talk about stardom. Otherwise, who gives a damn? — El Gorto

When your songs become elevator music, then we can talk about stardom. Otherwise, who gives a damn? — El Gorto
I shouldn’t have to say this, but I must. Under no circumstances eat sauerkraut before undertaking vigorous activity of any sort. Have made myself clear?
El Gorto
Even if you wear matching outfits, once trust is lost, the relationship is forever doomed.
– El Gorto
Dear El Gorto,
My roommate, who happens to be my ex, and I share a house, and we had a huge fight. She accused me of gerrymandering the living room. Is this possible?
Sincerely,
Jay Acussé
Dear Jay,
When you live with your ex, anything is possible. I think Virginia Woolf was spot on when she said, “Every man needs a cave of his own.” I recommend you move out before it’s too late and in the meantime, put your stuff in the basement.
Dutifully yours,
El Gorto
Not every amateur deserves an hour.
— El Gorto