Paleontologists have only dug up the world, the point is to bury it. — 11th Thesis on Feuerbach. — El Gorto, Eschatology for the Over-Endowed: Studies in Anthropological Materialism, vol. 28, November, 2016
Wait at least a month before buying anything to see if you really need it. If it is a big purchase, give it at least three months. If you still want it, give it a little more time. If you’re buying something just to get laid, then you should already own it. – El Gorto
Why is it “in the eyes” of the beholder? The ears get a raw deal. Or the tongue? Anyway, be ardent with your ears and enjoy the ever-changing musical compilation from the El Gorto’s Buttery Crib.
When everything sucks, some know-it-all says it could be worse. And when all is good, some wiseacre says it could be better. I say…sorry, I lost my train of thought. – El Gorto, Commencement Speech, Kenyon College, 2020
Nothing is more awkward than catching your alter-egos making love. – El Gorto
In spite of her kleptomania, Goldilocks knew what was just right. — El Gorto, Finding Balance
That cute Tinkerbell tattoo on your ass will not do you any favors in the big house. — El Gorto
It doesn’t take an apocalypse to know who is essential. – El Gorto, The Pandemic Diaries
El Gorto walks through the garden of life with his fly open. What more needs to be said?
Kirkus Review, 1963.
Dear El Gorto,
I am a graduating philosophy student at Cornell College in Iowa and am a huge fan of yours. Your book, Finding Balance, really helped me with both my yoga poses and when things were not going so well with my boyfriend.
I am finishing my Honors Thesis on Nietzsche’s The Gay Science. My question to you, El Gorto, is simply, how do you apply Nietzsche’s philosophy in your day-to-day life?
Mount Vernon, Iowa
It’s hard to be sure of anything, but I do know Mount Vernon is in Virginia, and Cornell is in Ithaca, New York. So don’t try to fool me.
As far as applying Nietzsche to my everyday life, simple: That which doesn’t kill El Gorto, makes El Gorto stronger.