When your songs become elevator music, then we can talk about stardom. Otherwise, who gives a damn? — El Gorto
Dear El Gorto,
Dean Martin is not a long-haired hippie who takes LSD, speed, etc. When he is in a movie it is not sexy like most other movies. He does not need a band to make music because he himself fills the air with a romantic song. There are still some who prefer relaxing music to rock ‘n’ roll.
— Jim Johnson, Wood River, Ill.
You got a question or do you just need to rant? I bet you drive your whole family nuts. Keep it up. There’s a whole cottage industry for guys like you, (bumper stickers and truck stop novelty items).
Listen, pal. I admire your grit and your unabashed man love for the great Dean Martin, but you’ll never catch me watching a Matt Helm movie.
— El Gorto
I shouldn’t have to say this, but I must. Under no circumstances eat sauerkraut before undertaking vigorous activity of any sort. Have made myself clear?El Gorto
Even if you wear matching outfits, once trust is lost, the relationship is forever doomed.– El Gorto
Dear El Gorto,
My roommate, who happens to be my ex, and I share a house, and we had a huge fight. She accused me of gerrymandering the living room. Is this possible?
When you live with your ex, anything is possible. I think Virginia Woolf was spot on when she said, “Every man needs a cave of his own.” I recommend you move out before it’s too late and in the meantime, put your stuff in the basement.
Life is hard enough, never mix up allure and a lure.— El Gorto