Dean Fetish

Ask El Gorto
Now that’s Amore.

Dear El Gorto,

Dean Martin is not a long-haired hippie who takes LSD, speed, etc. When he is in a movie it is not sexy like most other movies. He does not need a band to make music because he himself fills the air with a romantic song. There are still some who prefer relaxing music to rock ‘n’ roll.

— Jim Johnson, Wood River, Ill.

Dear Jim,

You got a question or do you just need to rant?  I bet you drive your whole family nuts. Keep it up. There’s a whole cottage industry for guys like you, (bumper stickers and truck stop novelty items). 

Listen, pal. I admire your grit and your unabashed man love for the great Dean Martin, but you’ll never catch me watching a Matt Helm movie. 

— El Gorto

Hell of a Cast!

Yodeling in My Head

Ask El Gorto
Dear El Gorto,
I can’t get this yodeling out of my head. 
I listened to Hocus Pocus by the group Focus. Swear to God, that is the name of the group and song.
Here is the link, but I warn you it is like watching that video in the movie The Ring or sleeping with that dude in It Follows.
(About a minute in, it all begins, and never ends).
What’s a guy to do?
Desperately yours,
Von Trapped
Dear Von Trapped,
Your reference to The Ring is lost on me. I don’t like all that Wagnerian fantasy world crap with little people. And It Follows?
The last decent film I saw was Delta Force featuring Lee Marvin. Now that was a movie and that was an actor. I doubt he’d have any issue with yodeling.
In fact, when I don’t hear yodeling, I get nervous.
You might just have a bizarre case of tinnitus. I had a dog that couldn’t get the Theme song from WKRP in Cincinnati out of his head. We had to put him down.
I recommend you fill your head with some other sort of sound. If it doesn’t drive you postal, try the theme from Claude Lelouch’s “Un Homme et Une Femme” movie. Give it a try and the yodeling will go away.

Theme Song from a Man and a Woman
El Gorto