Paleontologists have only dug up the world, the point is to bury it. — 11th Thesis on Feuerbach. — El Gorto, Eschatology for the Over-Endowed: Studies in Anthropological Materialism, vol. 28, November, 2016
Entomb the Malevolent Mess
Quotesmasculinity
On Impulse Buying
QuotesWait at least a month before buying anything to see if you really need it. If it is a big purchase, give it at least three months. If you still want it, give it a little more time. If you’re buying something just to get laid, then you should already own it. – El Gorto
Finding Balance
BooksIn spite of her kleptomania, Goldilocks knew what was just right. — El Gorto, Finding Balance
Perplexing is the Perspective of the Aging Lothario
QuotesDon’t let your mind make promises your body has no intention of keeping. — El Gorto
EL Gorto Kicks off Oprah’s Gonzo Series Book Club
Books“Jon [Voight] was never the same after that famed chicken fight up in Laurel Canyon. Burt [Reynolds] nearly strangled him with his thighs of steel, but Jon— always the tough guy—never said anything. Burt just kept on squeezing. Once Jon did talk, we simply ignored him, a real tragedy.” — El Gorto, The Great American Chicken Fight
Dean Fetish
Ask El Gorto
Dear El Gorto,
Dean Martin is not a long-haired hippie who takes LSD, speed, etc. When he is in a movie it is not sexy like most other movies. He does not need a band to make music because he himself fills the air with a romantic song. There are still some who prefer relaxing music to rock ‘n’ roll.
— Jim Johnson, Wood River, Ill.
Dear Jim,
You got a question or do you just need to rant? I bet you drive your whole family nuts. Keep it up. There’s a whole cottage industry for guys like you, (bumper stickers and truck stop novelty items).
Listen, pal. I admire your grit and your unabashed man love for the great Dean Martin, but you’ll never catch me watching a Matt Helm movie.
— El Gorto
On Kraut
QuotesI shouldn’t have to say this, but I must. Under no circumstances eat sauerkraut before undertaking vigorous activity of any sort. Have made myself clear?
El Gorto
On Inspiration
Quotes
Dress for Success
Quotes
On Allure
QuotesLife is hard enough, never mix up allure and a lure.
— El Gorto
